A New Year

Happy New Year Everyone! A New Year often brings us to reflections where we look back on the last year and look forward to a new one. It is good to look back and learn from the past, not dwell on it but take the lessons learned; good and bad, and use this wisdom for the future. I am very much at peace with my 2008. I have had many triumphs-the biggest for me personally was the creation of this business but also many sorrows and losses as well. This is the first full year of my life without my Grandma. Every once in awhile I have this feeling come over me....like "is she really gone?". Although it was a year from her passing in October, I miss her still very much. I know she is with me and I feel her presence all the time. I wear her heart necklace every time I shoot, because I know she would love to watch me.
I feel like I have grown a lot in the last year. I feel that I am coming into "my own", knowing who I am and being more and more comfortable and proud of that person. I understand now that I can't change anyone else, I must change the way I look at them, and sometimes that means that they don't have the place in my life that I had originally thought and that is ok,.....painful at times, but all the same-OK. I have learned that expectations are sometimes dangerous and giving of myself in the ways that come naturally to me, may not be so natural for others and that's ok too. Some are unable or unwilling to see me as I truly am-it is easier and more comfortable to make their own judgements of me.....and I have learned to understand that I can't make them understand, all the words in the world could not explain it to some........but what matters is that I know who I am at heart AND that I have the most amazing people in my life that do too. I don't regret trying though-because you never know what could come of it-possibly a new friendship, possibly growth or strenghtening of an old one-I have had many silver linings in my struggles. You cannot force people to accept your love or help in growing- and you most definitely cannot expect them to reciprocate appropriately-they have to be ready and willing in both respects. I have learned it is exhausting to force this, and have directed my energies to those that deserve it.
I am so blessed to have such amazing people in my life-you know who you are! That unconditionally love, support and encourage me in life-I love you and wish for you much happiness in 2009. To those that I have connected with through my business or reconnected with from my past......through facebook and other avenues-I'm looking forward to learning more about your lives, catching up on lost time and seeing what the future has in store.
Much Love To All! Rashell